


Friendly Competition (You Take My Breath Away)

by DandelionDrabbles (AnonymousDandelion)



Series: Ineffable Flufftober 2020 [16]
Category: Good Omens (Radio), Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Absurd, Banter, Double Drabble, Drabble, Fluff, Flufftober 2020, Humor, Lighthearted, M/M, Mentioned Warlock Dowling, Randomness, Ridiculousness, breath-holding contests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousDandelion/pseuds/DandelionDrabbles
Summary: When he was nine years old, Warlock Dowling learned about breath-holding contests. When he was ten, he lost interest. His tutors did not.Ineffable Flufftober, Day 15. Prompt: Breathless.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Ineffable Flufftober 2020 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957708
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens, Flufftober 2020, Flufftober2020





	Friendly Competition (You Take My Breath Away)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I took a wonderful writing prompt, with so much potential for emotion and beauty, and turned it into a piece of sheer random ridiculousness. No, I do not know how this happened.
> 
> (BUT if you are here for feels, just listen to the Queen song referenced in the title — "You Take My Breath Away" — and think about the lyrics in relation to Good Omens. Disclaimer: I am not liable for any heart damage, overworked tear glands, or inarticulate emotional sounds that may ensue.)

When he was nine years old, Warlock Dowling learned about breath-holding contests. He spent a month obsessed, pestering his tutors to compete with him.

Mr. Harrison refused every time. Mr. Cortese won every time.

Then Warlock turned ten, lost interest in breath-holding, and turned his attention to baseball, bubble gum, and stamps.

His tutors did not lose interest.

~ ~ ~

Being of celestial stock comes with its perks. Among these perks: a certain degree of optionality when it comes to basic biological functions.

So, a demon/angel breath-holding competition is really more akin to a contest of will. If the contestants have sufficient patience — and no better use of their breath — such a game can last days, weeks, or even years.

Aziraphale and Crowley seldom last more than an hour or two.

~ ~ ~

They keep a tally of their breath-holding victories. Crowley is in the lead.

“That’s because you cheat!”

“It’s because I _win_.”

“Tickling is a dirty trick.”

“Duh. I’m a demon. I _invented_ dirty tricks.”

“Next time, I’ll thwart your wiles.”

“Save your breath.”

~ ~ ~

Next time, Aziraphale wins.

“That was a low blow! Magic tricks are cheating!”

“Your hypocrisy takes my breath away, Crowley.”

“I’m a demon. I _invented_ hypocrisy.[1]”

**Author's Note:**

> 1 This is not true. If any being of celestial stock can be accurately said to have invented hypocrisy, it would be either Michael or Satan.[return to text]
> 
> Thanks for reading! Should you have any thoughts to share, I'd love to hear them. And if you enjoyed this, feel free to explore my other works in (or out of) this series as well. :)


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